"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"The road to success is always under construction."
"If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out."
"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."
"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished."
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you."
"I'm in shape. Round is a shape."