"Q: Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window? He wanted to see time fly."
"Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A: Because you can't drink and derive..."
"Q: What's a teacher's favorite nation? Expla-nation."
"Q: What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam!"
"Q: Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? Because he was a paleontologist."
"A perfectionist walked into a bar...apparently, the bar wasn't set high enough."
"Q: What do you call someone who can't stick with a diet? A desserter."
"Q: Where did the vampire college student go clothes shopping? Forever 21"
"I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up ... they have no holidays."
"Q: What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus."
"Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? It's always 90 degrees."
"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back."
"Meet my coworker, the Boy Who Cried ASAP."
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